Hi doctor, I a boyfriend that I love so much. We were going out for seven months, but he just told me that he has herpes We have been having sex all the time, and we used condoms when we had annal sex but no with oral sex. I was very mad at him, but we are still together. I went to a lab and they didn't find anything. Since then we have had sex just a few time, just masturbations and sometime he gives me oral sex. Can I get the herpes because of that?

Since he told me our relationship had changed a lot. What can I do? -Alex

Hi Alex, herpes exists in two forms of infection. It used to be taught that herpes hominus type 1 causes cold sores and fever blisters and type 2 caused genital herpes. It is now being blurred and genital herpes can occur from type 1. This disease is typically transmitted through sexual intercourse, urogenital sexual activity, kissing, and hand-to-body contact. Up to 50% of people carry the viruses in the US. (Above: Acyclovir is avaible on line for about two dollar per pill.)

The problem is that you can transmit herpes when asymptomatic so it is not absolutely possible to know when a transmission can occur though if someone has genital blisters they would be clearly infectious.

It is unclear from your questions what the age is between the two of you. It appears you are happy with the relationship. What has happened has happened and there is no indication that either of you have had active painful herpes outbreaks during your time together. 80% of these infections are asymptomatic and it is always prudent to use protection as you have for intercourse. The use of acyclovir and such drugs can shorten outbreaks in your partner but there is no proof that there is any effect of drugs on preventing transmission. It is a difficult issue.

I hope I have shed some light on this situation. -Ellar, M.D.