(These letters are in response to the Private Apollo Network Mid May Newsletter. If you missed yours, write for the link.)

To Ron, I find the 40% figure you quote as very interesting, although not too surprising for men of our era. So many men were driven to marry, either by culture, family or religion that there was no way out. The closet was locked for them and the rest of us. I see that changing now that we are more open about being gay, and many of our younger men now don't have to face the prospect of marrying to meet the requirements of society - that is unless they marry another man. Times have changed, and I still shake my head at what we have today with more to come. (At Right: UK group for gay married men. See link below.)

Your other statement about men starting to act straight is so true, and the best proof of that is in the religious leaders and politicians who hide their gayness while condemning the very secret lives they lead. It is a sad, sad statement, and all this needs to change.

To Ron, I am always surprised when I read your percentages of married men who are gay. Why it takes so long for me not to be surprised is a mystery – possibly one I'd like not to acknowledge. What it seems you are pointing out is that there are way more men who enjoy male to male sex than most would like to admit. That is interesting in itself. When I couple that with what a younger friend of mine says - the guy who really got me out, bless him. He says that it is easy to seduce older men, most of whom have been, or are married, because their wives have not liked sex, or they have not liked sex with their wives, and with gay sex they feel safer and "more in the closet."

From Ron: People are always amazed that there are so many gay married men. When I get a donation of cash with no return address on the envelope, I know that guy is probably married and/or deeply closeted. To see the Gay Married Men Forum on Apollo Network, Click Here. To see the UK link for Gay Married Men, Click Here